just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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