my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
