I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
