I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
