I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Found your dick twin last night
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
