Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
