either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
