That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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