she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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