You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
3pm strippers are depressing
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
