Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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