She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
