She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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