This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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