I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
