So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
