What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
