how can u be prego again
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
