I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
