I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Farmville is her only friend.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
