He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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