Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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