I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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