I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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