I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
