yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
