Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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