I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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