strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
