i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
