so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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