shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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