did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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