I must be too annoying 4 u.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
