I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
