Whoa Z and x make the same sound
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
