This is not my ceiling
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
