let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
