I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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