Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
