I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
