great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
