just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
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