I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
