I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
