did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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