Jerry, you need to find god
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
