That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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