I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
