You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
