My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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